If you're new to the Valley, newly "out," or just new to anything beyond your neighborhood gay bar, here's what a festival first-timer should know about Pride:
1. Don't skip the parade. The afternoon festival—with its beer tents, dancing and people-watching—is where to strut your stuff. But the morning parade is where you show some love: It's where you clap for the hard-working nonprofit volunteers, where you wave to the convertible-riding lawmakers who fight for your rights, where you cheer huge for the PFLAG moms and dads teaching the world a lot about unconditional love.
2. No matter how perfect the spring, Pride will feel like summer. There could be three straight (er, consecutive) weeks of 80-degree temps, but the weekend will feel like June. I can't remember a Pride that didn't involve sunburns. Remember to slather with SPF and wear breathable fabrics.
3. Warm beer is delicious. OK, it doesn't start out warm, but beer in a giant plastic cup just can't stay cold for long (see No. 2). No matter. As you have a blast browsing the booths, catching up with friends and making eyes at hot strangers, you'll notice that the warm beer tastes excellent. And you will order another.
4. You will see your ex. Even if you just moved here from Ohio, somehow your ex will be at Phoenix Pride—and looking good. Prepare by wearing your hottest T and having a good hair day.
5. You will see your ex's ex. No one is sure how your ex's ex also made it to Phoenix, but don't worry, as this person rarely looks that good. Feel free to gloat.
6. Bring cash. There are temporary ATMs, but those insane transaction fees prey on your sun-baked, alcohol-soaked defenses. The transaction fees can be as much as $8. That is enough for a beer and a half.
7) Be proud.
