Suckiest vampires ever

10. Caleb Colton, 'Near Dark'

When some heavy petting with a mysterious fair-skinned stranger gets slightly out of hand in ‘80s horror western “Near Dark,” Caleb Colton (Adrian Pasdar of “Heroes”) undergoes the world’s most anticlimactic vampire transformation. But instead of living it up with the band of boozy vampire drifters who recruit him, he spends the rest of this legitimately awesome movie whining about his brand new immortality. After he cries enough emasculating tears to alienate everyone in the film, he becomes human again via some magical blood transfusion and finally grows a pair.